I have been out of commission for 5 days with severe food poisoning and had many hours to contemplate how each of us can live in courage and what this means for our country. Now is the time for each of us to stand tall and reject fear. This country has been fear driven for far too long. The old systems are crumbling faster than a house of cards. New systems are quickly moving forward to create a much better world for all to live in. Are you going to be part of the solution? Change must occur, it is inevitable. We must all be courageous at this time and make the decision to be part of the solution.
I found a wonderful article by Patrick Ryan that I would love to share with you. I enjoyed it immensely as it is written by a Canadian who can see the clearer picture. Visit Patrick at Awakened Wisdom and enjoy reading his blog. Patrick is an author, executive coach and leadership trainer. Look for Awakened Wisdom in my blogroll for easy access.
Debra Oakland @ Living in Courage
Who Is Doing Your Voting?
Well here we are again, about to choose the next generation of leadership in the United States. As a Canadian residing in the US, I do not get to vote so I have a unique perspective on what is unfolding. It’s an interesting time in the world right now, and as I’ve been traveling about the world lately I appreciate the opportunity I’ve had to hear so many different perspectives on the changes taking place. The current global economic challenges are trading headlines daily with the US election process, and the entire world is keeping an eye on the United States as it all unfolds.
Obviously running a presidential election campaign is stressful. One gauge of a great leader is how he or she responds to stress and how he or she continues to manage a campaign under pressure. After all, if you can’t manage your own campaign in a good way, how could you be expected to manage the role of President of the United States of America and its attendant global responsibilities?
Consider, both candidates in this US election said very clearly early on, that they would not stoop to the pressure to include negative campaign ads In their strategy.
Low and behold, both have. Why is that?
Election strategists tend to agree that negative ads can and do work, and some might insist the use of such ads is necessary to win. But what do we gain in a campaign that’s “won” with negative ads? Negative ads do “work” in that they prey upon our often-present underlying fears and cause us to doubt our deepest voting instincts. The fearful side in each of us is always on the look-out for things to be afraid of so, yes, negative campaigns can “work” if they gain power as THEY feed on our fears.
During the presidential debates, groups of undecided voters are hooked up to electronic equipment, which indicates when they are either attracted to or repelled by a candidate. The meters flip quickly into attraction when candidates speak about solutions from a resourceful and wise aspect of themselves; when a leader is able to stay clear and grounded in his or her wisdom, this in turn activates the wisdom of those observing. If an undecided voter were to stop right there, and vote from this place of wisdom, we’d likely end up with a candidate who has some pretty sound ideas.
However the converse is also true; when candidates start bashing their opponents, approval indicators start dropping as undecided voters start to feel conflicted. The candidate who goes down the road of negativity is counting on this, for negativity is contagious. If a candidate can get voters to cast doubt on his rival’s character and abilities, the vote may sway. When candidates campaign from this lower aspect of their nature, they activate it in others. And those who are not grounded enough in their own wisdom may get pulled down the road of negativity.
We can hope, but not expect that our candidates will always refrain from using negative ads. When one candidate starts, another may feel obliged to respond and defend – a seemingly inevitable and vicious cycle of negative ads ensues.
So what can we hope for in a voting nation when negative ads are calling out to us? We can hope for discernment.
We have two basic inner aspects of our selves through which we can choose a candidate. Awakened Wisdom teachings describe these aspects as the Divine Self and Distorted Self. Simply put, Divine Self is the resourceful, creative, empowered aspect of who we are, while Distorted Self is the fearful, critical, judgmental aspect of who we are. We each have our own personal version of these two aspects lurking within us.
As you step into the voting booth you have an important choice. You can vote for what you believe is the highest and best solution or you can vote from fear.
Whichever aspect you put in charge of your voting will determine what you’ll create in this election and in your life. If you vote according to your Divine Self, (a choice based on your best wisdom given all the insight and information you have) it is likely to attract positive results for all. (FYI - Making a Divine choice can also still feel risky. It may include agreeing to short term risks in hopes for long term, or more broadly reaching benefits, not just for yourself, but for others.)
If you allow fear to guide your vote, you are choosing to put your own Distorted Self in charge. Such a fear-based choice would continue to create more fear, resentment and scarcity. It would attract a leadership style that would be operating through the same fearful energy that has empowered it. If a presidential candidate wins through fear and negativity, these energies will no doubt overshadow the entire presidency. We have been trudging through a long stretch of fear-based leadership; we have a choice to shift this energy. The world is watching the United States as it chooses its next leader.
I cannot tell anyone which way I think he or she should vote. I am however, reminding people to choose well - through wisdom rather than fear.
When you do vote, ask your self these two simple questions:
What is most needed in the Leadership of this country at this time?
Which candidate is most likely able to create that?
I will state that it seems time for all nations to learn to create again from wisdom, trust, courage, and openness. To do this now, Americans must be willing to let go of creating from fear. That doesn’t mean being naïve, it means operating from Divine wisdom. This is the kind of wisdom that knows real, from imagined dangers and is willing to hold out for long-term sustainable prosperity versus short-term gain.
Any idea or action that does not add beauty to the next generation is not a good idea for the day at hand.
This painting was created by my new friend on Facebook, Sheryl Brown. We have developed a wonderful friendship. Sheryl, coming from her heart with light and love, was inspired to paint “Peaks and Valleys” after visiting Living in Courage and reading my story. I love Sheryl’s authentic art, spirit and courage. It is my pleasure to introduce you to Sheryl Brown, a Licensed Marriage & Family Therapist with a private practice & Artist.
“Here is one of my recent paintings, “Peaks and Valleys,” which was inspired by reading some of the life story of my new Facebook friend, Debra Oakland. Though she has lost a number of close family members, she explains how she has chosen to be happy and not remain stuck in grief and the pain of loss. Interestingly enough, when I started out this painting, I enthusiastically loaded up the canvas with rather too much paint (some of which I transferred to another canvas - to be posted later). I had in mind some colors from looking at photos of a joyful occasion. In the process of working on this painting, however, the phrase - “oh, the jagged pain” - (or something close to that) went through my mind. This painting then became about my perception of Debra’s experience. Our lives here on earth really are characterized by both jubilant and sorrowful times - and everything in between. And sometimes, it really ain’t pretty. I had the feeling that I muddied up the warm colors as I was mixing them, and pondered whether to “clean” them up some by adding another layer. In the end, I decided to leave it as it is. Life isn’t perfect, but we still love it.”
Looking forward to reading your comments and feedback on this new painting.
I met Alan Cohen many many years ago, and loved to hear him speak in Southern California. This story is about forgiveness - a vital part of any healing. My beautiful son Wade was killed by a drunk driver. I know something about forgiveness. Please enjoy this story as you look into your heart to find what is unforgiven. Once you release and forgive, you will find your life opening to miracles. This takes courage, but isn’t that why you are here?
A young Japanese man named Shui was riding on a crowded train when a belligerent drunk made his way through the train car and began to rough up passengers. Shui had studied martial arts for many years, yet never before had he been forced into a public confrontation. Shui felt his blood begin to boil, and realized the ruffian needed to be stopped before he hurt someone badly.
Shui stood up, blocked the fellow’s path, and the two exchanged angry words. As the men were about to square off, Shui felt a hand on his arm. He looked down and saw a frail old man. “Let me handle this,” the elder insisted.
Shui watched in amazement as the old man invited the heavy to have a seat next to him. Strangely, he acquiesced. The elder began to engage the fellow, asking him questions about his life and looking him in the eye with kindness and compassion. After a while the thug confessed that his wife had just died and he was in great pain; he had gone out and gotten drunk to numb his agony. The old man placed a comforting hand on the fellow’s shoulder, and he began to weep. Before Shui’s eyes the intruder was transformed from a villain into an innocent child.
When the train arrived at the next station, the tough guy thanked the old man and exited the car. Shui, stunned, sat down next to the old man and asked him, “Why did you stop me?”
“You were about to meet that man’s violence with your own,” answered the old man. “In true martial arts, if you hurt your opponent in any way, you cannot call your act a victory.”
We have all encountered people whom we feel we must protect ourselves from. Yet there is a way to keep ourselves safe without hurting others. It is the strongest way to protect our peace. Although we have been taught that we must wield pain as a weapon to keep others at a distance, it is not so. We gain all together or not at all. To wish ill upon anyone is to hurt ourselves.
I used to visit a prisoner named Ron. Years earlier, in college, Ron had a girlfriend named Jen. One night the couple had an argument, and in a fit of rage, Ron beat her up. Tragically, she died. Ron was convicted of manslaughter and sentenced to many years in prison.
I met Ron when he was up for parole after nine years of incarceration. In contrast to his violent act, I found him to be a gentle soul. He was contrite about his crime and he had used his time in prison to advance his spiritual growth. Ron studied A Course in Miracles, he was active in the prison church, he was liked by the other prisoners and staff, and he had worked his way up to a responsible position managing the prison laundry. When I visited Ron, I sensed no cruelty in him and he certainly did not seem like a dangerous criminal to me.
Ron told me that he had been denied parole repeatedly because Jen’s parents had mounted a citywide campaign to keep him in jail. Each year when Ron was eligible to be released, Jen’s parents took out newspaper ads, exerted their political influence, and orchestrated a concerted community effort to “keep this killer off the streets.” Yet, looking at this man, I did not see a killer at all. I saw a basically good man who had made a heartbreaking mistake.
“So how are you dealing with Jen’s parents?” I asked Ron.
“I send them love and prayer,” he answered. “I understand that they are very angry and they must be in great pain. If I could go back and undo my act, I surely would. More than anything, I wish I could bring Jen back. But I can’t. So I am just deepening my relationship with God right where I am and trying to be a blessing to the world.”
As I left my meeting with Ron that day, I wondered who was really in prison. Ron was locked up physically, but his soul was soaring. Meanwhile, Jen’s parents were quite wealthy and enjoyed unlimited physical freedom, yet they were consumed by anger and vengeance. It seemed to me that their wrathful thoughts were creating walls more formidable than those encasing Ron.
Because we are spiritual beings at our essence, what we do with our spirit influences us more profoundly than what we do with our body. Heaven and hell are not places we go or conditions the outer world imposes on us; they are experiences we create with our thoughts and beliefs. A Course in Miracles tells us, “I am affected only by my thoughts.” Where our mind goes, there we are. The desire to hurt brings us instant pain, while the desire to heal brings us instant freedom.
If you are angry with anyone, or involved in a conflict, keep reaching for a solution that leaves everyone whole. If you feel you need to hurt someone or take something away from them to make things even, you do violence mostly to yourself. Instead of seeing them as a villain, regard them as wounded or calling for love. No one does anything mean or foolish unless they are in great pain. To try to inflict more pain only exacerbates their sense of disconnection. As you connect with your own sense of peace, you invite them to claim theirs. Only then can you say you have won.
About the Author:
Alan Cohen is the author of many popular inspirational books, including the best-selling Why Your Life Sucks and What You Can Do About It, the award-winning A Deep Breath of Life and his newest is the prosperity guide Relax into Wealth.
For information on this program and others, or to receive Alan’s free daily inspirational quote and monthly newsletter, visit www.alancohen.com or email info@alancohen.com. For information and a free catalog of Alan’s books, tapes, and seminars, phone 800.568.3079 or write P.O. Box 835, Haiku, HI 96708.
This post was written on courage by my new friend Dieter Pauwels, who stumbled across Living in Courage and loved it here. Dieter shared these words on courage with me and I would like to share them with you. Please visit Dieter, who is a coach from St. Louis, MO. Thank you Dieter for sharing your insight and courage with us.
You don’t have to climb the highest peak of the Kilimanjaro or fly around the world in a hot air balloon to experience courage.
Courage comes from the Latin root ‘cor’, which means heart. When your heart is weak, filled with anxiety, inferiority and regret, you will have little courage. When your heart is filled with compassion, love, honesty, respect and confidence, you will build great courage!
We live in a climate of corporate malpractice — fueled by greed and self interest — financial and moral scandals, and political righteousness. Today, more than ever, we need leadership to be inspired with courage. Courage to lead from the heart, courage to do what is right, courage to provide leadership based on values and strong principles.
We are all leaders of our own destiny. Leadership from within requires courage! When we lack the courage to be true to our self, we tend to conform to the expectations of others. We settle for second best or mediocrity and we choose the security of our comfort zone. Hence we cheat ourselves (and everyone else) from what could be possible.
Courage requires a strong emotional commitment to your own values and principles. The stronger your commitment, the more likely your life will unfold from a place that is real and authentic.
Courage is not a talent or an acquired skill. Nor is it a thing to be waited for. Courage is the gift we all have been given to discover our true nature and face our personal truth.
You’ve got that gift!
Be courageous!
Dieter Pauwels http://www.dieterpauwels.com
email - dieter@dieterpauwels.com
Dieter Pauwels is a certified professional life coach, business coach, speaker and author.
He provides an open-minded approach to provide the attitude, mindset and skills needed to empower you to create the results you want in your personal and professional life.
He works out of his base in St. Louis MO. His coaching clients are located in the US and Europe.
I have a friend Jenny who found the courage to heal herself of chronic pain. Here is a small bio on Jenny and an article from Jenny’s website that I know you will enjoy, about a blind boy who can see, in some ways better than you and I. Jenny represents Living in Courage to me, so I am excited and grateful to share her blog, Heal Pain Naturally with you.
Thank you Jenny for sharing with us here.
Debra Oakland@LivinginCourage
Jenny Mannion, after having chronic pain for 5 years and being diagnosed with several diseases was told she would always be ill and to prepare for feeling worse. She did not want to be on pain medications at 35 for the rest of her life with 2 young children to take care of. When she saw the movie, “The Secret” her life changed. She learned all she could about the Law of Attraction and the mind/body connection and healed herself of all illnesses and pain. Jenny wrote an e-book on the methods she adopted to heal and maintains a blog on natural ways to heal emotional and physical pain. She is a mind/body mentor and believes everyone can find powers within to heal parts if not all of their life.
Here is an article with a video of Ben Underwood’s amazing journey. Ben and his family are people who Live in Courage, and they encourage all of us to reach deep inside to find and use the full potential and courage of who we are in our every day lives.
Video Continues:
Ben Underwood’s mother is a perfect example of how to encourage your children and I am sure a big part of the reason Ben developed his incredible gift. She told him he could see. She told him he was normal. She did not let him see her upset or ever feel sorry for him. One year after his eyes were removed Ben could see (some might say better than the rest of us with eyes).
I healed myself of some very bad illnesses so I KNOW how strong the mind is. Nevertheless this story amazed me and proved further what I already knew. “Your thoughts become things” and “You need to believe to achieve” — Ben was told repeatedly he could see, believed it and MADE seeing possible. This showed me again how important it is to share these messages with your children.
When I showed the video to my 8 year old son I prefaced it with, “this shows you can do anything you set your mind to.” He is currently studying sound at school and sat utterly shocked as he watched Ben “see” with his ears, much the way dolphins do with echolocation. I could tell it helped him that day as he was about to set out on ice skates for the first time. He is usually cautious and instead was looking forward to it tremendously and he KNEW he would be able to do it. He did in fact discover a new love and I have reaffirmed the power of inspiration.
There are a few books I use to teach my children about the Law of Attraction and to know no limits that are VERY valuable. “Incredible You” and “Unstoppable Me” by Wayne Dyer and “How to Talk to Your Kids about the Law of Attraction E-book” by Robin Hoch with Rich German. “Incredible You” is my children’s favorite bedtime story and the first time I read it my son said to me, “You know mommy — this guy thinks a lot like you — you should call him”. WHAT a compliment — and I am so grateful my children now see me AS thinking like the great Dr. Dyer because for the first 6 years of my son’s life I definitely did not.
Share stories of inspiration with your children and tell them there are no limits to what they can achieve. Can you imagine how great a world it would be if all kids grew up KNOWING this?!
I was reading my daily dose of Early to Rise and found this post to be of interest. Some of the items are new to me, but learning about our world, especially nature, is the best. I love monarch butterflies. Which is your favorite?
It’s Fun to Know: The 8 New Natural Wonders of the World
The United Nations Educational, Scientific, and Cultural Organization (UNESCO) has added eight new entries to its World Heritage List, which denotes cultural and natural sites that are deemed of value to humanity. The new entries join 878 sites in 145 countries.
1. Joggins Fossil Cliffs (Canada) - site of a plethora of fossilized animal and plant remains
2. Mount Sanqingshan National Park (China) - home of unusual granite formations
3. Lagoons of New Caledonia (France) - a system of reefs with tremendous coral and animal diversity
4. Surtsey (Iceland) - an island created by volcanic eruption in the 1960s
5. Saryarka (Kazakhstan) - a vast grassland that’s home to several endangered species
6. Monarch Butterfly Biosphere Reserve (Mexico) - the winter home of this migrating insect
7. Swiss Tectonic Arena Sardona (Switzerland) - valued by scientists for its geologic features
8. Socotra Archipelago (Yemen) - known as the Galapagos Islands of the Indian Ocean for its plant and animal diversity
H. Les Brown wrote and article on Wednesday, July 16, 2008 on Courage. This article is also about Inertia, which is critical to your success in moving forward. Enjoy and have a great day.
The Courage to Change the Things I Can
Why does change (both creating it and dealing with it) take courage? It’s certain that change requires courage, but we’re not always certain about why that should be so. To be frank, the cause can be traced back to the fundamental stopper: inertia. Whether change in movement takes place in the physical or intellectual and emotional realms remains incidental, the process is the same: it takes energy to overcome inertia. Whether it be a change in velocity or a change in direction, change requires energy and we have innumerable excuses for why we need to conserve our energy (excuses that have nothing whatever to do with the price of oil.
The cost to an individual to expend energy for change must be enormous — or at least it must be perceived that way. In the May, 2005 edition of Fast Company magazine, it was reported that over 90% of all people who have been told that their medical condition requires them to change their personal habits — or else — either fail to change them at all, or, within a short time, revert back to their old habits. Human inertia exerts a kind of extreme resistance to moving out of our comfort zone and, in many case, to moving at all. We feel much saver when we don’t need to make decisions, let alone take action. Shifting our minds and our behaviors, putting our free will into gear (and keeping it there in life’s uphill climbs) requires genuine courage.
Living a full, purposeful, inner-directed life requires — as a bare minimum — the courage to change the things you can (to paraphrase the Serenity Prayer). I often compare living a meaningful life to riding a bicycle uphill. You’ve got to peddle! If you should get tired and stop peddling, you won’t just stop, you’ll roll backwards. There are constant challenges that arise along the way for anyone who wants to live a life beyond the TV, the recliner, and the can of beer. Even then, challenges (like puberty and the midlife transition) come at you regardless of whether or not you’ve chosen to take an active role in your own life. ‘Stuff,’ as they say, ‘happens!’ How well prepared you are for those moments may well determine what kinds of ethical standards you live by, not in theory, but in fact.
You and I tend to be morally indignant and outraged when people act inhumanely to one another. And yet, chances are we’d indulge in exactly the same behavior if we were ever in those circumstances. You may remember the case of the woman in the Brooklyn, NY psychiatric hospital who collapsed on the floor of the waiting room and was stared at by almost a dozen people (including a doctor) for over an hour before anyone did anything. The woman died of a seizure. And, last month, A 78 year old man was stuck by a car crossing a busy street in Hartford, CT. He lay in the street alone and unattended while cars drove around him. Four people dialed 911 on their cell phones to report the accident, but no one stopped to check on the man until the police arrived. No one.
Indifference is a perfect example of human inertia in action. That’s what happens when we — you and I — fail to exercise our ‘courage muscles.’ If you can’t choose to make a difference for yourself, and then take action on that choice, how could you ever expect to take action on behalf of someone else? Here are five ‘reasons’ why psychologists say that you would predictably join a group of observers and fail to come to the aid of someone in need:
* Bystander Effect: “If others aren’t doing anything, I shouldn’t either (the person must not need help)” * “If something happens, I am not really responsible for it (it’s not my responsibility)” * “Others will take care of it (I have to take care of me)” * “It’s not going to make any difference anyway (there’s nothing I can do)” * Culture of indifference: “That’s not the way we do it here”
That’s why it takes real courage to extend yourself, to put yourself out for the sake of someone else. This lack of courage also explains why so many people would rather suffer than change their attitudes and behaviors. Making different choices begins with shifting your awareness. It means asking yourself the all-important question, “Why am I here?” And then, when you start to have the answer (which has to include taking care of yourself and one another), the Serenity Prayer will have even greater meaning for you:
God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference. . . . Amen.
I found a great blog post on a website today titled 10 Reasons Goals Fail. I found # 9 to be something I can personally relate to. There are things in our life we have never attempted, because we thought we may fail. I now have the courage to try new things, as I hope you do. Here is a quote from the blog:
9. People quit to soon. How many things never happen because people quit. All of the successful people have had to persist far far longer than they wanted to. How would you get away without it? You will see tough times, but haven’t you already. Stay glued to information that can help you forge ahead.
Won’t you try something new today? Accelerate Your Success. Even if it is something simple, it will help you break out of old patterns or habits. If we don’t explore all that life has to offer, it can get boring and we get stuck. No one likes to be in a rut. The adventures in life are a lifeline that will pull you up and out of that rut and into a life well lived.
Here is to the adventurous soul in all of us. Life should be fun. Go out and have a great day.
Debra Oakland
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